*FREE* My Week.

                I hate writing free post because I don’t know what to write. So bleh I’m just going to write about my week. This week had been so far the “alright” week. On Monday, 1st through 4^th period was okay, it went pretty fast. I had lunch with Linda every Monday. We ate sushi and milk tea. What I hate about Monday was it was raining. We had to walk back to school in the rain. During 5^th period we were at the media center starting on our sophomore research paper. After school, it kinda stops raining a bit, so I took the bus home.             

                On Tuesday, Linda and I were planning on having lunch on Tuesday too but then she had to retake a test, so I had lunch alone… during lunch my friend from old school called me. They told me they wanted to walk around Alameda high campus after school and told me to wait for them. I waited for an hour when they told me they will be here in 20 min. I called her and she said they’re still in Oakland, so I was pretty pissed and left. I called my cousin and he came to pick me up. When I got home I shower and went straight to bed. Woke up at 11pm and finish all my homework.

                On Wednesday, time went by pretty fast.  We had to run the mile during PE. I hate PE because it seems like an impossible subject to pass.  I hate how PE teachers expect to run fast and shit. I freaking try, I can’t run for shit. If he’s going to fail me, because I can’t run, then fuck it. I think I will need to transfer school again, because this school got no swimming class. During lunch I went to the BuildOn meeting with Khulan.  After that me and Linda we to get some drink and we went to class. After school my mom called me and asks me to go to my grandma’s house to help my dad get the mail. I was like, Okay if you tell cousin to come pick me up. After I went to my grandma’s house and got the mail, my mom called and told me my cousins didn’t have his cell phone with him. So I have to take the bus home.

                Well my week didn’t seem “alright” at all. Before writing this, it was alright not now I think my weeks been pretty bad.

*BC* Advices

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

—Steve Jobs, in a 2005 speech

I agree with Steve Jobs advice to life when making choices. If we start to live our life to the fullest, this world would be a much better place. We wouldn’t have regrets and do our best on everything knowing today might be our last day alive. We would do things we always wanted to do but never find the time to do it. We would say the stuff we wanted to say to that special person. We would start living for our self not to meet someone’s expectation.

I remember reading this quote from somewhere a long time ago. Well no exactly the same words but it’s almost the same meaning. It’s telling me to live my life as if today is my last day alive. I never really follow the quote, but when I make big choices I would think about it. The quote affects me in a good and bad ways. The good ways are I won’t do stuff I will regret in the future. I wouldn’t do something permanent because of something temporary. I will think of the outcome before any action or before I said something.  The bad thing about this quote that had affected me was I can never really let go of something. When I wanted to give up something, I will always think that today’s my last day. It’s been so hard on me that I know it’s better for me to let go, but I just can’t. I would probably learn that I’m the type of person who can’t completely let go of something that I know might kill me one day.

My advice to others is “appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had”. Time never stops for anyone, so it will never stop for you. Appreciate what you have now before time takes it away from you. Never take anyone for granted, that person won’t wait forever, he/she will leave one day. A lot of kids take their parent for granted, our parent will not stay with us forever, so show them your love before it’s too late. Another advice is “Take the risk, if it’s what you wanted it’s worth it all.”  Life is all about taking risks and learns about who you truly are. Don’t hesitate to do something you want because if that’s what you wanted, it’s worth it. Don’t regret something, because at one point that exactly what you wanted.

*CE* iSad

Steve Jobs, who sparked a revolution in the technology industry and then presided over it as Silicon Valley's radiant Sun King, died Wednesday. The incandescent center of a tech universe around which all the other planets revolved, Jobs had a genius for stylish design and a boyish sense of what was "cool." He was 56 when he died, ahead of his time to the very end.

"A hundred years from now, when people talk about Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, Gates is going to be remembered for his philanthropy, not technology," said tech forecaster Paul Saffo, "the same way people remember Andrew Carnegie for the money he gave to education, not the fortune he made in steel. But what they're going to say about Steve Jobs is that he led a revolution."

 I didn’t even know who Steve Jobs was until I saw news about his death on Facebook and Tumblr. It was pretty sad knowing the person who invented all those iPhone, iPad, iTouch etc passed away. After hearing about it, I started researching about him and I found a lot of stuff people did after his death. They put flowers and apples in front of the apple stores and post it notes. It got me all teary…

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”-Steve Jobs

*FREE* feelings.

Sometime I felt like I really failed in life. I felt like I’m a loser. There always things on my mind I wanted to say, but world never came out. It’s so hard to tell someone how you really feel. It’s so hard for me to show someone how I really felt. Sometime I just don’t want to argue anymore so I stay silent. I always have things I wanted to tell you, but it’s never the right time. I hate myself for being so weak and making simple things so complicated. This is probably the only place I can tell you how I felt, but you will never know it.  

I’m sorry for not sharing all the time. I’m sorry for not knowing what to say when we argue. I’m sorry for being moody all the time. I’m sorry for getting mad at you over little things. I’m sorry for always crying. I’m sorry for always having you worried. I’m sorry for always telling you stuff that I should keep to myself. I'm sorry for making things so complicated. I’m sorry for always getting jealous. I'm sorry for being so weak. I’m sorry for causing all the troubles. I’m sorry for making your life harder. I'm sorry for being a bad girlfriend. The only thing I’m not sorry for is loving you.

There may be someone out there who can treat you better than me, but they can never love you like the way I love you.

Baby if i could, i would prove it to you, you mean the world to me.

*RE* Life.

It all started going down hill in 8th grade before that year I got straight A's but i fucked up but nobody new what was going on because why should they know there not close to me.

I agree with Michael’s second sentence. My grades started going down since 9^th grade; I was pretty depressed in middle school. I felt like everything I do or say is wrong.  Even till this day, I still feel the same way. Life is pretty fucked up sometime, where I felt like there’s no point of living. At times it can be so amazing that i just don’t want my day to end yet. I used to hide everything inside. Even when I’m dying inside, I can still manage to smile. I felt the same as Michael, why should they know? Even if I do tell them, I bet they will never understand it. I think you have to actually go through it to understand what it really feels like. I hate being so negative and thinking so negative. I learned that being negative gets you nowhere. If you want a better life, you have to work for it. Don’t just sit there and wait till it to come. You have to earn for everything.

            I guess I was still young back then. Now I’m older, I felt like life is really not that bad, well not as bad as I thought it was. Even thought I don’t want to be old, but I can’t wait till get out of school. Don’t ever hope for it, believe it. If you want it to happen, YOU have to make it happen. Nothing is impossible. Even the world impossible said so, “I’M POSSIBLE” (:  Stay positive, it won’t rain forever.

*Essay* Humans...

Humans are the smartest species in the world. Over a long period of time, humans adapted to a changing world. They evolved in many characteristics that help defines us today. These characteristics did not emerge all at once. They evolved over the past 6 million years of the human history. Although there are plenty of characteristics for humans, I think emotions and feelings are the definitive characteristic of a human being.

         We are probably one of the hardest species to deal with; emotion wise. Here’s quote from Dale Carnegie, when dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. Almost all creatures have some sort of feelings and emotions. Human emotions are the most complicated one. We tend to hide our feelings a lot. It starts off with something small, when there is more and more of those small things it will turn into a big thing. Some people are good at hiding their emotions. I can’t say I’m good at it, but I do it a lot. It is like your dying inside but you’re smiling and acting like everything is perfect. When one of your friends asked you, “what’s wrong?” you wanted to say everything, but you didn’t but said nothing. It is not a good feeling. I think it’s more like a trust issue. There are cases where people who don’t know what their feelings are. It is like a mixture of a lot of emotions together. Showing your feeling is not always a good thing. When you show you feeling to your crush, it’s not always a good thing. Especially if you guys are good friend, she might not feel comfortable around you anymore then the friendship breaks. Another example is when you angry, you want to show it to everyone. If they are not the reason why you’re angry, you shouldn’t be letting it out on others. To me one of the strongest emotions of all time is love. There actually no real meaning of love, until you found that special someone to give meaning to it. Love gives hopes to humans and encourages them to do better for their partner. Love can also drive people crazy because once the love breaks it remains with you for a life time. It is one of the sweetest and most painful emotions. Emotional pain hurts more than physical pain because physical pain doesn’t hurt forever but emotional pain can stay with you for a life time.

Our emotions affect our everyday life. When we wake up in the morning feeling happy, everything will seem to a bit better than waking up feeling grumpy. When we in a good mood, we can affect people around us. When at work or school we will do better and focus more when we are in a good mood. On the other hand, when we are in a bad mood, we get all grumpy and pissed off. It will not affect yourself, but people around you. Other peoples might change their views of you because of your action, but it’s hard to control your emotions sometime. We will waste the time on thinking about the stuff that makes us feel that way.

Our emotion also affects our action. Even though emotions are just what we feel but it can lead to physical contact. When someone said something bad about you, you get up and punch that person. There weren’t any physical contact when that person said bad stuff about you. What that person said, caused you to have that uncomfortable feelings inside, that you just want to release it. Here’s a similar example from Dr Chio Ugochukw. He said “If we feel an injustice has been done to us, our emotion of anger rises up. Our first thought is to strike back. This is a one dimensional response which might not always be effective in this day and age.” Our thought is what makes the action happen.

Human’s feeling and emotions change very fast. We feel happy when something good happened or when we are having fun. Here is a little poem from By Natalie

Feelings go up and feelings go down
There are feelings inside us all spinning around.
Sometimes they're good and sometimes they're bad
But feelings are something that everyone has.
Being shut out and feeling unsafe are feelings that
I think that
Everyone
Hates.

Our feeling seem to be changing more often then you even notice it. When things are going good we think positive and we are just in a good mood. When things turned bad, our emotion changes in less than a minute. When someone said or do something we don’t like we take it inside and repeat it in our head. These kinds of feelings don’t stay with us forever. It goes away but it comes back when we think about it. Here is another example from a site I was looking at.

For years it was believed that if you could inspire people to change their attitudes and beliefs, behavior would change. However, we now know that attempts to change people's behavior by changing attitudes or beliefs are usually unsuccessful.

Well, in my own opinion I think when you get inspired by someone your attitude will change. Not only your attitude but the way you look at things and your view towards it. I was inspired by this person’s page on tumblr called “StayPositive” he post a lot of quotes about life and relationship. It inspired me a lot and especially when I’m in a bad mood. His quote changed my mood. It might not work on everyone but it certainly worked on me.

In conclusion, emotions are what makes us human unique and different from other species. Our emotions are complicated and hard to understand. Every emotion affects us and our days. It also affects our actions. Emotion changes so fast that you might not even notice it.”The only questions worth asking today are whether humans are going to have any emotions tomorrow, and what the quality of life will be if the answer is no.”said Bangs Lester. What does being a human mean to you?

*CE* Plastic bottle classrooms

People in Philippines have developed a way to build bigger school classroom using less money. Comparing to the materials that is need it to build a normal school classroom, this way uses less money and materials. It is also helping the environment too. They use recycle plastic and glass bottles in the northern Philippine province of Laguna. The Philippines produces enough to build a classroom in two weeks. This mitigates the weather changing a growing climate change problem. These class rooms are strong enough to stand strong winds. They have a large solar bulb made out of steel drums to reflect the light form the sun to light up the room.

I think this idea of building classrooms in poor places is really good. All kids should have a chance to get educated. With the recycle plastic bottles as the main materials for building the school, save a lot of money. These bottles can be found anywhere. Best of all it helps save a lot of trees and help to deal with the plastic bottles. In poor places like the Philippines it saves them half of the money to build normal classrooms. It is doubles the size of the normal classrooms too. They can use the half from what they save to build another one.

One thing I’m pretty concern about is what if it’s going to stand in an earthquake? Is it going to stand strong or is it just going to destroy the whole thing?